Is there any relationship more fraught with drama than that of mothers and their daughters?
I say this as the mother of five daughters. Of course, if I'd had any male children, I might have a different story. Then again, maybe not.
Two of my favorite bloggers have been grappling with the intersection between finances and adult daughters. Morrison, at All Doors Considered, is in the mood to cut her daughter off. Terry, at A Little Bit About Everything is more conflicted.
Grace? She can relate to both of these mothers.
On one hand, my daughters do need financial help from me. On the other hand, they expect me to step in entirely too often. And on the third hand (something every mother has!) I am acutely aware that saving for my retirement has to be my highest priority.
All of the above leaves out the most important issue--the emotional one.
When I provide money to my daughters, I try to make it without strings. But the emotional binds are still there. Don't they owe me something, at least respect, for getting them through their tough times?
From their point of view, am I trying to buy that respect from them? If they need what I freely give, do they then owe me?
If I don't get the level of respect and financial understanding that I want or expect, should I then cut them off entirely?
I don't have any answers. Like Morrison and Terry, I'm just now learning to ask the questions.